First of all, men and women are different. We see sex differently; different hormones run through our biological systems. Nature needed different things from us, and programmed us differently to get what was needed. For millions of years, nature needed men to go from one woman to another, impregnating us as they went along in order to propagate the species. And women needed to settle down with the children, to nurture them so that they would grow into adulthood. Those impulses running through our systems for at least a few hundred thousand years turned man’s instinctive response after sex into “I gotta go,” while a woman’s still tends to be, “Let’s settle down.”
Therefore, it is incumbent upon wise men and women to take responsibility for the powerful impulses that sex brings up in all of us. Hormones are released into the body of a woman when she has had sex with a man, creating a chemical bond whether she wants that bond OR not. So it is definitely not a good idea to be hooked on someone who did not consciously, benevolently, and with FULL responsibility ask that you be. A man’s excitement in bed is great. But only a cold or foolish woman still thinks that that smile on his face when he sees that smile on yours is worth months or years of painful nights to follow. And yet that pain is bound to come, if his smile reflected the yearning of his body but not the yearning of his heart.
Most men will be pretty honest about this subject, if a woman has the nerve to ask him to be. Did the man tell you, “Our having sex means I will continue to call you?” Did the man tell you, “Our having sex means I won’t be having sex with other women?” Did the man tell you, “Our having sex means I am entering a sacred place with you, where trying to get to know you will be a dominant factor in my life?”
Women often avoid that particular conversation. “I didn’t want to ruin the magic of the moment.” Great. Now where’s the magic? “I didn’t want to pressure him.” What, he can have sex with you, BUT he shouldn’t have to answer any questions? “He said this was only casual, but the heat was so intense that night, I thought he didn’t mean it.” Darling, grow up! When sex isn’t magical, then sex shouldn’t happen. And when it is magical, its power shouldn’t be underestimated.
|—||Marianne Williamson (via mindofataurus)|